OLD POST FROM JUNE 29, 09-Somehow didn't get posted
To put me at ease, I looked up our doctor on the Kaiser website last night. Before the photo popped up it said "Male", huh? I was assuming that our fertility doctor would be a woman. After the little shock, it felt okay.
I currently feel like i am going to vomit all over the keyboard.
The past few days all i have are images of us with a baby or me pregnant and C dragging me around the mall. We have begun to plan our next year of life around making a baby. Since San Francisco Pride was this past weekend both C and I expressed our want to go to Los Angeles pride next year " If im pregnant by then maybe we can go, but if im not and we go during the time we need to inseminate , i dont want us to go any where." I also start to think of things in terms of how would we do this when we have a baby. Like Sunday, all of the women in C's family including us went to a movie and lunch, my mom was invited but did not attend. So i began thinking, how would we go when we have a baby, i guess my mom could watch the baby since there would be no one else, or we would not be going.
I have begun to more indulge my self in the Lesbian Pregnancy books we have, reading over each chapter a few times so I know what it is saying. No matter how much I read in books or on the internet, this is the morning that will start it all off. This is the morning that we will look back on when I am laying in a hospital waiting to give birth to our wonderfully loved and waited for baby. I hope that when our child grows up they know how much they were planned for and wanted and dreamed about every night for months and months and maybe even years, I hope they know how much love we had for them even before they were born ( heck, even before they were conceived!)
Our apt. is at 9:00am and it will be an hour long, I then have to be at work by 10:30 am. I will post an update on my lunch today...
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