Yesterday I put on my FB that while I am thankful for all that I have, sometimes its hard to forget what I dont.
Some days it pours.
Some days, at random times, in the car on the way to work, while getting ready for work, I start to cry. Nothing specific reminds me of what I dont have but something inside yearns for it all over again
and I cry.
When I have to sit in a meeting with my very pregnant boss and watch her rub her belly for 45 mins. I want to burst into tears and hide. I want to find the nearest shelter and crawl in, blankets and all and hide. Hide from what I dont have and what makes me cry.
When my mother has a card on the table congratulating someone on the upcoming addition to their family, I cry.
I dont so much cry for my self ( I mean part of it is that) but most of all I cry for them.
For C, who wants a baby so bad but knows that the road is long and hard ( and expensive!).
For my mother who so badly wants a grandchild but that road is also a long wait filled with anxiety of " what IF it never happens?"
So this morning while sitting here at work, alone, waiting for the others to arrive. I cried.
