Denial

I feel horrible. One of the very few times since I have been married, I denied C. Well not really denied her but didn't give the truth or facts. I had a parent ask me If that was my sister who picked me up the other day. I told her no and paused. I looked into her face and she gave me a look like she knew, but didn't want to assume. I didn't come out and say "No, that was my wife" Instead,  I froze and said nothing.

I feel horrible

March is almost over, where does time go? I recently have been reminiscing on the fact that it has been almost a year since C and I decided we would try for a baby. Almost a year since we began on this journey.

Since the last cycle was a bust, I vowed to lose weight and try again in June. However, I suck at loosing weight but to be honest C and I have lacked on going to the gym and we have to stop that. Even though our 3rd cycle isn't until June, im already dreading it. The hot flashes, the mood swings, the upset stomach and the let down of no mature follies.

In light of all of this we do have good things going on.

-Spring time! Thank goodness for the sunshine, we made it on our first of many beach trips this year.

-Tre's Wedding-Its not until July, but I ordered my dress and its really cute! I had photos but im not sure where I put them but this is the dress ( The one we are wearing is red, not pink!)

Until Next time..

A birthday surprise..

I so badly want to blog about what C is getting for her birthday, but I cant! I will have to wait until after her birthday to spill the beans. I hope she likes it

Congratulations

A congrats is in order for my cousin. Her and her husband have been trying for their own little one for around 5 years now. She was diagnosed with PCOS and had given up hope for having her own child. This last cycle, she said was her last and low and behold she is pregnant! Im happy for her...

Much about nothing

Nothing new is going on in the home front of baby making, well, except one thing. Last week I emailed by doctor on CD 39 and explained what was going on. I said that we would not be trying again until June but wanted to know what to do about the current long cycle. He gave me two options-

1- I could take the pregnancy test he put online for me and then take Provera ( O horah bring on the hot flashes!)

or

2- I could wait until Mid may- take the Provera and then the cycle that starts after that, would be the cycle we would try.

I talked to C about and talked about it and she says that it is up to me what we do. She says its my body, shes right. But im still not sure what to do.

I have been so melancholy lately and have no idea why. Its one of those feelings that you just cant shake. The only time I am really happy is when its just me and C, no one else.

And again, I SUCK at loosing weight..but that's not new.

Suck

I suck at loosing weight..