and they start again

The tears that is. This morning after I got home I didn't stop crying until I fell asleep. I thought it might get worse when it was time to go to sleep and I was right. C called to say goodnight and I lost it. She hates to hear me cry so I tried not to but I did. I will be just fine but I can not wait to see her tomorrow!!!!!!!!

First night away from eachother

C left this morning to L.A with her Grandmother, mom, aunt and little sister. They went to take her Grandmother to a funeral that is later today. The plan was that I would take Monday and Tuesday off and go with them. After our 1st baseline scan of the cycle we found out I would have to go back on Monday for another scan and possibly set up IUI for the next day, needless to say, I had to stay home.

I knew I would be sad when she left, being that this will be the first night EVER that we have been apart but I had no idea I would react the way I did. I didn't cry much when I left her because I didn't want her to feel bad. Once I got into the car to drive home, I cried and hard. I cried the whole way home and once I was home sitting on our bed I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to calm myself down and remind myself I was just fine. I tend to blame over reacting emotions on my medicine but im not sure how much of this I can blame on them. So I text C to tell her that I was sad and I wanted her home but that I was going to sleep and I would feel better when I woke up. 

So, I took the nap and felt better when I woke up. She has been sending me pictures ( one of a sunrise she saw and the second of snow on the Altamonte Pass). I got up made pancakes ( even though they were a tad gooey inside still) ate them and am now sitting in front of the TV.

Im am praying and wishing that all goes well tomorrow and we have some good sized follies growing and we can trigger and IUI for Tuesday. I still need to figure out if I want to get our vial tomorrow or Tuesday morning. If I can, I think I will wait until Tuesday morning, that was C can go with me and we can get something to eat at the little cafe right by the Sperm Bank. 

Open

I dont have many followers but for those of you that are on here im opening myself  up to questions, any questions at all.

Go!

CD 3 Baseline Scan- Friday Jan.22 & some rambling

The first baseline we ever did was not all that good. Dont get me wrong it wasn't the worst news but the cycle we didn't have any follicles on CD 3 that the Dr. could see. So this time around I was cautious. C and I went in and got great news! I have 15 follicles on my right side and 10 on my left side! Our Dr. upped the Clomid from 100 mg to 150 mg due to the fact that last time it took a while for the one follicle to grow large enough. 


We have been playing with the possibility of changing donors. Nothing serious just been talking about it. I suppose we are already setting our selves up for the next 2 to be BFN's. IF we do change donors, I have a feeling we may have to switch sperm banks. I hope we dont have to.


The other week we were driving around SJ when we landed in Babyland ( its an actual store!) Im not sure why we stopped, maybe we like torture?! Any way we stopped and when it and were amazed! The cribs they had are beautiful and not overly priced either. Plus, if you want to take home one of the floor models, they are only $99! I told C that we should go there to buy our stuff when we do have a baby. 


C is going to LA this upcoming Sunday with her Grandma and Mom for someone's funeral. I had taken Monday and Tuesday off so I could go with them. Unfortunately I have a scan on Monday that I cant miss, so she will be going without me. This is the first time ever that we have spent the night without each other. She doesn't want to go and I dont want her to go but I keep telling her it will be okay. She said she doest want to miss our apt on Monday either.. =(

CD 3-Baseline Scan

Starts @ 4. Hopefully all is well. Will update soon.

Well that was quicker than expected

My last pill of Provera was on Friday night. The last time I took it, it took 8 days for AF to show up, this time it only took 5.


 But now I have horrible cramps...

Almost there

Almost done with my Provera and I cant wait!

Angry!

I dont know why Im letting this get to me but I am, and im angry.

Im going to do a quick recap on the last 2 months

-Nov. 13 Provera started
-Nov. 28 Cycle starts
-Dec. 1 Baseline Number 1 ( Baseline shows no cysts and lining is growing nicley)
-Dec. 9 Baseline Number 2  (Shows no follie growth)
-Dec.14 Baseline Number 3 ( Shows follie at 27mm. Trigger shot given)
-Dec. 15 IUI
-Dec. 29 Beta ( Results came back 1)
-Jan.4 5 weeks since last AF (Called RE-Ordered redo of beta. Results came back 1)
-Jan 6 Provera started again

I dont understand why I have to take Provera again or why AF didn't show when my trigger shot was to make me Ovulate!

Pill Popper

So like we figured my second beta came back negative last night. I start another round of Provera today.. and the cycle continues.  I am though, very confused. I dont understand how I had the trigger shot and am obviously not pregnant but have not started AF. I think im going to email our RE today and see if I can get some answers. I am also going to ask if next time there is any way to tell if I have O'd.

*Another* Beta today

I emailed our RE yesterday. I am now on something like Cycle day 38. Our Dr has this thing with letting me go longer than 5 weeks without AF showing up. So I emailed him. A nurse called me back and said he wants me to do another beta and then if it is Negative, I will do another round of Provera. I have some questions regarding this. If I took the trigger shot ( which makes me ovulate) then why on earth has AF not shown up yet? Did my trigger shot even work? Was last months IUI for nothing?

Today on lunch I will go do my beta, only knowing it will be Negative.

2WW and Results

Our 2 week wait went by fairly fast. During the last week though I began to get anxious and just wanted to take a test at home. I didn't tho.

On Dec. 29th we went to the Dr to have my blood taken for the Beta. We went shopping and all I could think about were the results. I finally called to get them and my hcg was at 1.

 =(

Onto cycle 2...

IUI day

It had already been decided that I would have the day off of work when I had IUI's done, so that was taken care of. The day of our IUI started as an early one. Caleb spent the night and went with us to the Sperm Bank to pick up our swimmers ( well they were frozen but swimmers none the less). We picked them up and off we went to drop them off at the Dr's. C took the cooler up and I stayed in the car with Caleb. She came down and we went to have lunch at my work.
     After lunch we dropped Caleb off at home and returned home. I was dead tired at this point and went to sleep around 1:45. C woke me up at about 2:15ish and we left.
     When we got to the Dr's office 3 ladies ( whom we have seen many times) were waiting for us. We were taken in the back and I did the usual, weight and blood pressure. I used the restroom before we went in for the procedure.
     The Dr we had for the IUI was the one that both C and I liked. So she prepped, I laid back and...it was over. I laid there for 10 mins and then we were gone...and onto the 2 week wait.

Bad Blogger-Baseline Scans

So in the last post I said that we had our first baseline scan scheduled-here is how it went

CD 3 1st Baseline Scan

     Despite bleeding and thinking it was well gross, the baseline scan went well. No cysts and my lining was thick and to the dr's liking. She had said in thebegining that if everything looked okay we would start the Clomid and Metformin. She didn't really say when she was done that we could start the meds or not she just said to meet her in the hallway when I was doe getting dressed. To our surprise she said to start both the Clomid and Metformin that day! We were elated! We also scheduled a follow up baseline scan on CD 12 to see how things were going.

CD 12- 2nd Baseline Scan

     The Dr whom we saw for our first scan was not the same one that we had for our second. The Dr we saw I hated. He basically said nothing was growing and that was it. He scheduled ANOTHER follow up Baseline 5 days later on Monday and we were off.

 The whole 5 days I prayed that something, any thing was happening

CD 17-3rd and final Baseline Scan

     3 days after the last baseline DW gave me an early x mas present. It was a beautiful star necklace, I wore it hoping it would be our good luck charm. The day of our 3rd baseline scan I set my self up for failure. I told myself and DW that this would not be our month to start and we would again have to wait. In comes the Dr ( the one I like this time) and we get to it. She looks at my right ovary which is easier to find and doesn't see any thing ( strike 1). So she moves onto my left and hidden ovary, she searches for about 5 mins to find it and BAM there it is. She measures and says that it looks really good. At this point she did not say how big it was but only asked if I brought my trigger shot with me. Really?! I tell her yes and then she asks " Can you pick up your sperm today or tomorrow? We are going to schedule your IUI for tomorrow. What?! Really?! Holy crap! DW gets her phone out ad stumbles to find the phone number to the Sperm Bank. The Dr leaves and says to meet her in the hall way. I call the Sperm Bank and set an apt to pick up our sperm the next morning. I also find out the follie was 27 almost 28mm.